hey you! yes, i am talking to you! how'd you find my online journal?
well, lucky you. you are now privy to my innermost thoughts and
feelings. well, most of them anyway.
and if by chance you know me, or know any of the people in my life, i ask you not to judge them based on what you see here. this is, after all, just my side of things.
Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.
being the romantic that i am, i couldn't end my posts for today without something positive about love. it's an excerpt from the introduction of Enchanted Love by Marianne Williamson.
Most of the time, we fall in love but can't remain there. The world then calls the state we were in a delusion or infatuation. But we were not deluded. We were not just infatuated. We merely lacked, or someone else lacked, the emotional skills to hold on to the magic when the morning came. Later we would tell ourselves that that moment of magic had not been real, but that analysis is just a collective lie. We invented the lie as a way to face the disappointment of having been to the moon on a starlit night, and then fallen back down to what can seem like such a barren earth.
That lie is little more than a social conspiracy. It gives its adherents a perverse kind of comfort to think that our basic lack of courage is some form of psychological health. In truth, we can go to the moon and retain its magic for a lifetime. We can breathe in its spirit and never exhale. We can own the powers of romantic enchantment and experience all of life as a glistening adventure. We can enter the temple and receive a new heart, forever aglow with orange heat. Having gone to the moon, and believed in what we saw there, we can return with a ticket that will always take us back.
Forget your old ideas. Forget the lies they told you. Forget them all, and you will begin to remember. There is a realm of romantic enchantment that makes the world we are currently living in seem not so very important, and not even so very real.
That realm is entered two by two. It is not just an emotional vacation spot, but in fact our newest spiritual frontier. In fact, it is where we are supposed to live. And in that place, we do not just live. In that place, we live forever.
THE SOUND OF ONE HEART BREAKING
by Karen Kunawicz
[via nelz]
Ever come across this zen koan that JD Salinger used in one of his books? You know, the one that asks what is the sound of one hand clapping. I don't know the answer to that one. But ask me what's the sound of one heart breaking and I might have an answer. Welcome to the dark side of love.
What is the sound of one heart breaking?
It is the sound of someone curled up in a tiny ball crying softly in the night, the sound of the first unwanted teardrop touching your skin, it's the sound of a telephone that doesn't ring, the sound of regret pounding inside your brain with every heartbeat, it's the whispers of the toy animals he gave you. It's the shuffling of feet walking away from you, the sound of your soul shattering into a million pieces at recognizing the word "goodbye," it's the soundtrack of memories torturing you, it's the sound of feeble hands trying to push back the obstinate hands of time, it's the sound of a cherub's dying breath, the sound of all those years disappearing in the vortex of Cupid's kitchen sink, it's the unrelenting, plaintive baby meows of an abandoned kitten outside an ignoring door. It's the sound of the rain that doesn't ever stop, the sound of all the doors in the world shutting and closing in your face at the same time, of raging, howling storms in the night when there's no one there to hold you, the sound of your voice as it screams back at you, the echo of "I love you" burning holes in you, the sound your heart makes as it tells you to lie still because nothing you will ever do will matter without love. The sound of the waves at the polluted beach you went to as it moves from the shore and crashes inside your mind, of the sniffles that make up your pathetic "SOS-to-the-world," the cracking of the brittle black-red petals from the sidewalk vendor roses he gave, the sound of the music he used to make going to your gut. The sound of things in your room being thrown around and landing on the floor, the caress of sharpened kitchen knives on skin, the sound your throat makes as you swallow your saltiest tear. It's the sound of your own voice calling out to someone who isn't there, of winged creatures dying and falling on a city pavement, of terms of endearment used a hundred times a day struggling to crawl into a vacuum of forgetfulness, it's the sound of your own sobs keeping you company, it's the cold, uncaring stillness of the air you share your space with.
Destruction isn't always as noisy as bombs exploding. Sometimes the ultimate catastrophes are as quiet as feather falling on the floor of a Zen monastery.
No one else can really hear your heart breaking except you.
actually, i shouldn't be complaining. not when i compare my plight to the little boy of our part-time helper. he's a few months shy from turning two, and right now he's been throwing up everything they try to get down his throat. they asked me for some temporary financial assistance, and we spent the afternoon looking for somewhere to bring him. it being a Sunday, most pediatricians were not available. this evening, he threw up a few more times so they finally brought him to the nearby 24-hour clinic inside the subdivision. it was a good thing that it wasn't as expensive as we had thought, and they gave them a discount.
wawa naman the little boy. i've grown close to him since i usually play with him before i go off to work. he's a smart kid, and can talk very well for his age. i would estimate that he has a language age of about 2 1/2 to 3 years. buti pa sya, especially compared to the kids that i work with.
what used to be just an itch in the back of my throat has developed into a full scale sore throat, cough, and colds. my voice was a notch lower than usual earlier. the last time that happened, i kept on singing Tracy Chapman songs, amused at the sound of my voice.
right now the sore throat isn't there anymore, but my nose is more clogged up and some remains of the headache i had this afternoon are still there. damn. i can't afford not to go to work this week. guess i'll just have to grin and bear it.
dropped my sister off at her dorm this morning. i finally took our new car out for a real drive. ang sarap pala mag-drive ng automatic! after getting used to a stick shift, the unoccupied half of my body (left foot and right hand) was looking for something to do. add power steering and a more modern engine to that equation, and i reached 120 kph easily on my way home.
1. What does your room look like? Is it clean or messy? my room is so nice. Ü it was renovated a few months ago, and the staircase was removed. it was something that gave my room character, but also denied me my privacy. the walls were finally repainted. they used to be yellow, now they're off-white. i have a handcrafted rug (the type you get from Baguio), a beanbag, and two cushions. my shelf was custom made, it has my books, shoes, cd player, etc. except that there's not nearly enough space for all the shoes and books i would like to have. oh well.
2. What posters do you have on the walls? What else do you have on your walls? i have two frames, one is an assortment of my pictures when i was young. the other is a cross-stitched picture of roses and ballet slippers made by my mom. oh, and i'm going to be adding a frame of the puzzle i completed soon. it's the painting of the two angels on the Sistine Chapel.
3. What color are the walls? Is there wallpaper? If so, what does it look like? like i said, off-white. i finally got to change the yellow paint that i chose 10 or so years ago.
4. Do you have toys, models, figurines, or other collectibles in your room? Like what? i have a few angel figurines, and some small cat figurines. the angels are on my bookshelf. the cats are on a shelf placed in the cut-out where the aircon is supposed to go. since my room is probably never going to have an aircon (the ceiling is open and connects with my sister's room and the playroom upstairs, besides i get cold too easily), i might as well make good use of the space.
5. Whose pictures are on your desk/dresser/night table/whatever? on the shelf in the aircon space are a couple of pictures of me and my sister. that reminds me, i probably should frame some pictures of me with my friends.
6. What's your closet like? What do you have in it? Okay, besides your clothes, what else? my closet is a small walk-in space. besides my clothes, i have all my mementos, old letters, old collections, and other things i just can't bear to throw away. what can i say? i'm a pack rat. Ü
7. What "goodies" do you have hidden in your room? uh.. goodies? nothing really. what you see is what you get. Ü
went to the Rock Enroll thingie at Diliman last night. ain't the name cool? Pinoys really have a knack for puns of all sorts. i especially liked the ticket, although when it was being handed to me i kinda hesitated. just the look of it brings back memories. it was a UP class card. hehe.Ü it's been a while since i've last claimed one of those.
i really wanted to go out that night, so i drove all the way to Diliman from Parañaque. in horrendous EDSA traffic. nonetheless, i made good time. i wasn't sure where i was supposed to turn to get to East Ave. i was speeding along when i realized that the reason that the cars and buses were all lined up towards my right was that it was the intersection for Kamias/East Ave, and i was headed for the flyover. i tried to look for a place to cut in. but since the traffic was stopped, there was no space between cars for me. an MMDA guy went up to me and told me i was obstructing traffic behind me so i should just go straight. i kinda panicked and i kept asking him which way to Kamias. he said i was on the right track but i would have to go straight. so i zoomed forward, and noticed a gap in between cars near the intersection of the flyover. good thing i was able to cut in quickly. *wipes brow* don't know what i would have done if i couldn't have turned there. i was late, the traffic was bad, and i noticed my gas level almost down to zero. oh no. with my adrenalin pumping, i drove like a maniac on East Ave. when i finally got to McDo Philcoa to meet up with my friends, i was so hyper from the drive. i was too hyper to eat, i just finished off my friend's leftover fries.
we met up with the rest of the group in front of the Bahay ng Alumni. finally got to meet more of the faces behind the nicks i see when i'm parked at #UP. caught up with news from old friends. and i dropped by the Pinoybloggers group just to say hi. (sorry i didn't stay, hiya kasi ako eh ) the rest of the night was spent listening to the bands that played and bantering with friends. it was well worth the drive. Ü
“Just remember that what you are jealous of is what you are supposed to have."
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -- Anais Nin
"Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack, and subconsciously, beneath their touchy condescension, deeply wish they had." -- Harry Emerson Fosdick
my mom is going to have a fit if she reads this. good thing she doesn't read my blog. Ü check this test out to see what religion your beliefs fall under. [via Jo]
Neo-Pagan A community of faiths bringing ancient pagan and magickal traditions to the modern age -- including mostly Wicca but also Druidism, Asatru, Shamanism, neo-Native American, etc. Neo-Pagan is an umbrella term for various and diverse beliefs with many elements in common. (See Pagan Path Selector below) Some Neo-Pagans find no incongruence practicing Neo-Paganism along with adherence to another faith, such as Christianity or Judaism.
Belief in Deity: Some believe in a Supreme Being. Many believe in God and Goddess - a duality. Many believe there are countless spirit beings, gods and goddesses, in the cosmos and within all of nature - God is all and within all; all are one God. The Great Mother Earth, or Mother Nature, is highly worshipped. Divinity is immanent and may become manifest within anyone at any time through various methods.
Incarnations: No human incarnations are worshipped in particular, as all of nature and the universe are considered embodiments of God and Goddess, or of gods and goddesses, worthy of respect, reverence or worship.
Origin of universe/life: Generally there is no conflict between observations revealed through science and Neo-Pagan beliefs on origins of the physical universe and of man. Many believe in a supreme intelligence that created a duality of God/Goddess who then created a spirit world of gods and goddesses as well as all of the universe and nature.
After death: Many believe in reincarnation, after some rest and recovery in the “Otherworld.” There is generally no concept of hell as a place of punishment, but some believe wrongdoing can trap the soul in state of suffering after death. Some (Wicca) believe the soul joins their dead ancestors who watch over and protect their family. Some believe that life energy continues in some, if unknown, form. Some believe in various spiritual resting places. Many say we don’t or can’t know what happens after death.
Why evil? “Evil” is imbalance. Most believe there is no evil but rather that people sometimes make mistakes. Wrongdoing results when we forget we are one with the universal spirit.
Salvation: The concept of “salvation” is essentially irrelevant; rather the belief that people can attain spiritual balance and harmony with each other and Nature. The path includes group ceremonies, dances, songs/chants, prayers, meditation, trance, altered states of consciousness, the metaphysical, magic, invoking or evoking deities or spirits, Tantric practices. Intercessors are commonly used: psychics, seers, shamans, tarot, Oui-Ja Board. Ethical choices are influenced by belief in rebirth and karma - that one is rewarded or punished within this or after this lifetime for one’s choices, and an ethical code to do no harm.
Undeserved suffering: Most do not believe in Satan or any spirit Being as the cause of suffering. Some believe in karma, that choosing to live a life of wrongdoing and pain will naturally result in suffering in this or later lifetimes. Many view suffering as a result of spiritual imbalance in one’s life or on the planet or in the universe. The focus is generally on healing suffering rather than answering definitively why it exists.
Issues: Abortion choice is supported by many, but beliefs about abortion range from “pro-life” to “pro-choice.” Views on divorce, homosexuality, and gender equality are generally very supportive of human differences, equality, and personal choice. Many believe that involvement in community action, especially regarding environmental concerns, is integral to the belief in human interdependence and worship of the Earth Mother. Many promote strict nonviolence to humans and animals.
actually, the second on my list, New Age, seems to fit my beliefs pretty well, too.
New Age An umbrella term for a wide range of personal and individual beliefs and practices influenced primarily by eastern religions, paganism, spiritism.
Belief in Deity: God is the impersonal life force, consciousness, ultimate truth and reality, the incorporeal, formless cosmic order personified within all people and matter - God is all and all are God.
Incarnations: Most believe there are no particular incarnations to worship as all in the universe are embodiments of God. Many of the world’s prophets, including Jesus, are viewed as reincarnations of the Christ.
Origins of universe/life: The universe, life, and matter were not created by God but “are” God. The universe and life emerged out of the creative power of the eternal universal life force.
After death: Some believe in continual rebirth - no death, as life is spirit. Some believe that our souls rest for a time before deciding on a new body (or bodies). Heaven and hell are states of consciousness, self-imposed, due to ignorance of God as all.
Why evil? No original sin and no Satan and no evil. Most believe people make “mistakes” when they are ignorant of the power of goodness, which is God, within themselves and others. Some believe evil is perpetuated through accumulation of past-life wrongs and spiritual ignorance.
Salvation: Salvation lies in the realization of oneness with the impersonal life force, thus unlocking one’s healing potential. Awareness can be heightened through methods that induce altered states of consciousness, e.g. hypnosis, meditation, music, drugs; and through intercession, e.g. crystals, tarot cards, amulets, fortunetellers and psychics, channeling. Some believe the salvation of humanity will occur when critical mass is reached as more and more people converge in celebrating their oneness with God and with each other, which will bring a New World Order or new Planetary Order, resulting in oneness of civilization and one world government, peace and harmony.
Undeserved suffering: Suffering is the result of greed, hatred, and spiritual ignorance in a person’s, or humanity’s, past lifetimes, which returns as suffering (karma). Suffering is sometimes viewed as occurring for a specific purpose, to further spiritual growth and learn a life lesson, e.g. the death of a young child may occur because the parents need to learn not to take life for granted. Suffering is also seen as illusory in that it results from attachment to bodily pleasure and pain, and only the universal life force within, God, truly exists.
Contemporary Issues: Abortion is not condemned, as there is no official doctrine. Generally adherents are supportive of a woman’s right to choose abortion.
here's my list:
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (96%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (94%)
4. Liberal Quakers (91%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (90%)
6. Bahá'í Faith (81%)
7. Hinduism (76%)
8. Scientology (75%)
9. New Thought (74%)
10. Sikhism (72%)
11. Jainism (72%)
12. Theravada Buddhism (71%)
13. Reform Judaism (71%)
14. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (68%)
15. Taoism (64%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (62%)
17. Secular Humanism (62%)
18. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (56%)
19. Islam (53%)
20. Orthodox Judaism (53%)
21. Nontheist (39%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (31%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (30%)
24. Seventh Day Adventist (30%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (28%)
26. Roman Catholic (28%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (20%)
so much of our lives is dependent on little tiny particles running along thin wires that connect to almost anything in the house.
there is no electricity right now as i am writing these lines. (take note of the word writing, i am just going to type these words in later when Meralco finally decides to get their ass over here and fix whatever's broken.) and so, here is my list of things to do when there is no electricity:
light a candle
fan yourself
complain to Meralco
fan yourself some more
change into a housedress and tie up your hair
think of someone to call
send vibes to get one of your friends to call you since you don't want to decide on who to call
think of texting some friends, but only if you have enough battery life left
decide that it's too hot to get up to go search for your cellphone
fan yourself some more
think of playing games on your PDA to pass the time
decide it's not worth getting up to get the PDA either
fan yourself some more
think of going outside where it's cooler
decide that you'd rather be hot than itchy
stare at the candle flame
look around for something to burn
decide that it's better not to give in to your arsonist tendencies
attempt to fall asleep with your hand on auto-pilot (still fanning)
imagine an ice cold glass of water
attempt to use The Force to fetch yourself a glass of water (sorry, Star Wars hangover)
realize it was a good thing the brownout came after the end of the movie
ponder on the origin of the term brownout vs. blackout
decide that it's probably just one of life's mysteries
fan yourself some more
wonder what's taking Meralco so long
pop the joints of your fingers and toes
fan yourself some more
decide that the heat is unbearable and proceed to take off your clothes (ha! gotcha on that one. =Þ)
make a list of things to do when there isn't any electricity
finally got to watch Episode I. yeah, i know, the whole world has watched it already and more, i'm late as usual. i've already seen Episode II. but i liked Phantom Menace more. there was no sappy love story that got in the way of the story telling. don't get me wrong, i love sappy love stories, but the Anakin-Padme story was just so badly written. i mean, rolling around on an idyllic mountain scene while unidentified creatures gallop ungracefully (have you seen the size and shape of those things?) in the background. please. *rolls eyes*
well, now that i think of it the storyline of Phantom Menace wasn't anything special either. the real attraction of the Star Wars movies are the effects. and i did enjoy the effects. i loved the look of Naboo, of the underwater cities, of the ships flying around the Capital. and the pod races. that was definitely fun. although i probably would have enjoyed it more had i watched it in the theatres since the first VCD just had to end in the middle of the pod race. i had to get up to change the VCD. so much for sitting at the edge of my seat.
also, Ewan McGregor was way cuter in the Phantom Menace. my mom was wondering why he looked familiar, then she remembered that we had just seen him in Moulin Rouge. she suddenly imagined him bursting into song in the middle of the movie.
and may i just add that Darth Maul sucks. he's the most boring villain i've ever seen in any movie. i would have thought that at least a more interesting character could kill Obi-Wan's master (Qui-Gon Jinn, i just checked the site) in the movie.
now i can finally understand the reason for the Star Wars mania. i feel like going out and renting the original trilogy, plus Episode II. so when does Episode III start showing in theaters?
watched Unbreakable on VCD. i like the twist in the ending, [spoiler] with Elijah Price suddenly becoming the bad guy[spoiler end]. reminds me of Sixth Sense. funny how Bruce Willis stars in both.
will watch Phantom Menace. i saw Episode II, but somehow missed watching Phantom Menace first. (this post and the previous entry were written the other day. i'm telling you this because my next post will be about the movie.)
finished with the books from Powerbooks. Sandman was ok, some stories were cool. will keep an eye out for Smokes and Mirrors since so many people are recommending it to me. the Dragonlance book was ok as well. will probably buy more of those if i find them at Booksale or something, but i don't plan on paying full price.
bought Contact by Carl Sagan at Booksale. the book is supposedly good while the movie supposedly sucked. we'll see.
it's been ages since i bought a new CD, pirated or otherwise. (hehe.Ü) or even downloaded an mp3. i dunno. i just seem to go along with whatever's current on the radio.
i need to become my own sun. i need a turning point to hold my universe together. otherwise i will feel like i'm drifting in endless space.
i don't want to find someone to become the center of my world. tried that already, and i got hurt. (actually, hurt is an understatement, but let's not get into the gut-wrenching details, ok?)
so what do i need now? i need to become centered in myself so that i don't depend on others too much. i need to pull my world together. be my own sun.
you know you're a blog addict when your train of thought starts to read like an entry in your journal. something funny or interesting or remotely noteworthy happens, and you start composing the words to describe the event in your blog. you have an urge to write down fleeting thoughts and realizations so that you will remember to post them.
but why? why this compulsion to capture the bits & pieces of my life and share them with the online world?
the first answer that comes to mind is that blogging is an outlet. an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, frustrations, joys, hopes, dreams. but ever since i went public, the outlet aspect of blogging has diminished. i refrain from posting about some topics because i don't want to come across as whiny and insecure, although at times i can be. on the other hand, i try not to come across as some annoyingly happy character who goes though life with a goofy grin plastered on my face. although at times i can be the eternal optimist. but what is all the fuss about? does it matter how i come across? should it matter?
well, the answer is, deep down, it does matter. us bloggers are usually opinionated people who want to shout out to the world that we matter, we exist. our opinions, the events in our life, heck even the results of some silly online quiz are important enough for you to take notice of.
and it's not enough for you to just read up and notice us. you need to say something, too. leave a comment, tag the tagboard, sign the guestbook. anything. let us know you're out there. affirm our existence by confirming yours.
and maybe then we can both breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that we are not alone in this crazy, confusing, colorful experience called life.
btw, just wanted to mention that i got through the day without being caught for going against the coding scheme. yipee! Ü it was too much of a hassle not to bring the car since i had several errands to run before heading to Sta. Mesa.
as i arrived home, i was so surprised when i was about to turn the car into the driveway. there was another car inside! i suddenly remembered that today was the day my mom went with my tito to buy a new second-hand car. Ü (uh, the adjectives new & second hand don't exactly go together, but you know what i mean.) anyway, i probably won't be able to drive it yet. will stick to our good ol' stick shift. am not sure yet if i know how to drive an automatic. well, practice lang yan siguro.
i just love the freedom that driving gives you. i first felt this kind of freedom when i learned to commute by myself to almost anywhere i want to go. now driving gives me even more freedom. now if only i had a better sense of direction... at least, so far, i've always managed to find my way home. Ü
i think it's just this work burnout thingie. have been absent for 2 days, plus Sunday so that's a 3 day rest. but still i dread going back to work tomorrow. today was ok since i had just one patient. at least he showed up this time. hehe.Ü
so, how do i revitalize my work life?
as for the rest of my life, it's pretty much ok. it tends to go in cycles kasi. like the stay-at-home cycle seems to be coming to an end, sicne i have several gimmicks slated for the coming weekend. my appetite is now at the sporadic-eating cycle, as opposed to the stuff-yourself-as-much-as-you-want cycle. oh well. life is like a wheel naman daw. whatever. =Þ
it's back to work for me today. oh well. nothing much to blog since surprisingly, i spent the whole weekend at home. just resting and taking care of some odds and ends. although i still have a lot more i should accomplish. hayy naku. my worst habit: procrastination. `nuff said.
doing around the world this year ---> uh, doing what?
It looks like a ball with pins. An ina has tube feet. A mouth of an ina is under the sea animal. An ina is closely related to the sea star and a brittle star ---> according to this, i'm an echinoderm. cute. Ü
a positive turning point for our organization
constantly expanding ---> uh oh. better watch what i eat then.
a licensed marriage and family therapist ---> at least they got the therapist part right
simply a side business
a small, traveling nurse company
featured in December's Well and Healthy Women magazine ---> i'm famous!
worthless ---> not.
home from the hospital and is making a miraculous recovery ---> good for me
unable to participate in the AOAC collaborative study
such a gutless heroine ---> referring to the Ina in Pangako sa 'Yo. hey wait a minute, i thought her name was spelled differently.
a faithful student of Torah
definitely a mover and shaker in the Los Alamos area
planning to invest some $3 billion by 2008 ---> don't i wish!
i could go on and on... but that's enough now, or else i'll bore you and myself. Ü i seem to be an organization or company most of the time. my favorite was the link saying i had tube feet and am an echinoderm. hehe. Ü
Kid Ass Avenger (Perverse Spoiled Functional Child)
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a gigantic flying perv! Yes, it's the inner child Kid Ass Avenger (PSFC). Your inner child runs amuck in the inner streets of your inner Mardis Gras. He, in fact, is the queen of the parade, and by the end of the night, or any night of your life, is always smothered in the finest beads.
He is also a child genius, but uses his powers to bizarre and ambiguous ends. He may give you the power to save the universe from total destruction one day and the next day save you from dipping a french fry in ketchup. Who knows what adventures lie in your unconscious future?
Be wary, though. It's all part of his master plan to make *you* the super-villian.
uh... okay. if you say so. take this test here if you're curious.
who, you might be asking, am i referring to? myself? nope. Genta Ogami. a friend showed me this article, and the size of his ego is unbelievable. Ogami's, not my friend's.
here are the Seven Shots on Wednesday questions...
1. Where were you born? in Mandaluyong City. nope, not in NCMH (National Center for Mental Health). just clarifying that. Ü
2. Where is the farthest you've been from your birthplace? uh... Switzerland?
3. Where is the best place you've ever visited? (note: visited) unfortunately, i don't remember much about the family trip to Europe. i was too young to fully appreciate it then. my only real memory of the place (as opposed to what you remember from looking at pictures) was of playing on the blue cushions on the couch in the hotel in Athens. some memory, huh?
my sister just reminded me of something. (she's looking over my shoulder as i post this.) there was this safe in the hotel room. and we accidentally locked our valuables in there. and at that time, our valuables were My Little Pony dolls. yup, we had to call security to crack the combination of the safe and retrieve our precious My Little Pony toys. hehe. Ü
4. Where is the last place you'd want to go ever again? anywhere involving bureaucracy and long lines. yeah, i'm still thinking of the LTO thing.
5. Where do you want to go that you've never been? according to my sister, heaven. Ü
6. Where is the most significant place of your life? i can't think of any. aren't all the places of my life significant?
7. Where would you choose to live the rest of your life? if i had my choice, i would live by the seashore, but in a place that is 30 minutes away from wherever i work. yeah, dream on.
i finally went to the LTO after lunch to pick up my license. after all, i have been driving around for almost half a year with only a receipt in my wallet instead of the actual license. the whole process of claiming it took less than 30 minutes, since when i arrived there were only 4 people ahead of me in line. having said that, i realize my patience for waiting in line has diminished greatly since my college days. i used to be able to wait in enrollment lines for hours at a time. now, i feel antsy after just a few minutes. oh well.
i'm so happy i finally have my license. and i actually look like a person in the picture. nothing great, but better than some of the license pictures i've seen. and to think i felt harrassed from all the waiting in line, red tape and whatnot when it was taken. my hair was still short back then. it's so nice to finally see my name on a driver's license. maybe i should scan it and post it here for all the world to see. haha, i don't think so. Ü
now, if i could only find time to pick up my PRC id...
had a business meeting last Wednesday. i must face the realities of growing up and making grown up decisions. suddenly, decisions become more complicated than just: what should i wear? or what should i do tomorrow?
had dinner with my friend after the meeting. we had both brought cars to the meeting, so we convoyed (is there such a verb?) to the nearest restaurant. well, fast food outlet to be more precise. over conversation, we mentioned that a few years ago we wouldn't have imagined both of us would be driving our own cars (well, not technically) and making such monumental decisions.
and then on the episode of FRIENDS (yeah, it's probably a rerun, but then again, i don't watch much television), they were turning 30. As Joey said, "God, why must this happen to us?" i don't know how i'd feel if i turned 30. granted, it's still pretty far off. i remember when i was 9 or so, 13 seemed like a grand age to me. and 20 was unimaginable. and now, i am fast approaching that quarter life crisis. heck, i feel as if i'm already there. if you ask me how old i feel, i usually feel a couple of years older than i actually am. that does not bode well for me if you believe in the saying that "age is a state of mind." who the hell said younger is better in the first place? but why do i seem to be resisting growing up and all the responsibilities that come with it?
once again, i stayed up till the wee hours of the morning finishing a book. (this was last Tuesday evening). i finished Message in a Bottle, i couldn't seem to put it down even when i tried. this book was definitely a tearjerker for me. although i must admit, some of the tears were partly due to my own memories of love instead of the book's. i cried at some unlikely parts, remembering moments of my past that now seem to be lost. and i cried at the ending, at the message of finding and losing love, and knowing that you can and should move on. how timely for me because i attempted to contact him yesterday to return and retrieve borrowed stuff and maybe get some closure. no response though.
the book was so beautifully written. i guess the reason i cried so much was because the emotions and experiences described were so real, i could see my own experiences within them. here are my two favorite lines from the book:
"Love is love, no matter how old you are, and I knew that if I gave you enough time, you'd come back to me."
"Someday you'll find someone special again. People who've been in love once usually do. It's in their nature."
haven't been able to post the last couple of days... i miss blogging already! i took the day off today.. although i haven't had that many patients per day, this past week has been taking its toll on my body. hopefully after today i'll be able to regroup and face the world of work with a smiling face and a lighter step. Ü
Love-a-Lot Bear You love to take care of others and people love being around you because you make them feel appreciated. You are very sweet and soft-spoken. You are also a romantic and consider yourself an excellent matchmaker, so you tend to be a bit nosy. But everyone still considers you the sweetest person they know.
at the rate i'm going, the books i just got might not last me the week. i stayed up till four am finishing Bridget Jones's Diary. i'm like that, sometimes it's hard for me to stop once i've started a book.
it was just like reading a witty blog except that you already know what was going to happen. only with a lot more dialogue. a very humorous read, but i actually liked the movie better than the book. (oh no, what am i saying?!) there were some funny parts in the movie that weren't in the book. also, in the book there wasn't any interaction between Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy. and the movie had the advantage of the cute face of Hugh Grant.Ü maybe if i had read the book first, i would have liked it better. but we'll never know, will we? i do hope to read the sequel, though.
uh oh. this blog starting to look like a site for book reviews. oh well.
whoah. never expected to be death. i wonder why. these were my answers:
1) What is your favorite animal? Butterflies.
2) Where do you want to be in a few years? I want to be loved by everyone. 3) What do you usually wear? Pretty fairy wings and a long pink dress. 4) Do you have friends? Many friends, but close to none. 5) If you lose something, where do you find it? It finds its way back to me. 6) What are a few of your favorite things? Books. I like to read. 7) Where do you live? In my heart. 8) What's your favorite color? Grey. 9) What is your favorite meal? French toast and orange juice, though I do like a good hot dog now and then. 10) If you had one wish, what would it be? Lost love.
how un-Death like could i get? or maybe i just don't know that much about Death since i haven't actually read The Sandman yet. well, whatever.
i finished Neverwhere today. i read it in the morning and on my useless trip to and from the clinic. i found it very dark and entertaining. like it says on the back cover, "a dark contemporary Alice in Wonderland". i could also compare it to Baum's Oz series although without those perky munchkins in Munchkin Land. and instead of a yellow brick road, you have miles of sewer tunnels and other places abandoned to the shadoes and the murky things that lurk there. although it had none of the gripping dialogue or quotable passages i was looking for, all in all, it was a pretty good read. Ü
in case you didn't notice, that title was dripping with sarcasm. i was dressed and ready to head for the clinic, then my 11 am patient cancelled and my 1 pm patient was postponed till 4. so i would have to go all the way to Sta. Mesa for just one patient, and then brave the rush hour traffic afterwards. and since today is Monday, i'd be stuck commuting. i left the house in the blistering heat at 2 pm. the roads were more clogged than usual, probably due to the opening of classes today. i finally arrived at the clinic at 3:30. and with impeccable timing, less than a minute after i arrived, my cellphone began to ring.
oh no. i had a gut feeling and it turned out to be correct. my patient cancelled on me. so what purpose did my afternoon fulfill? a tour of Manila? a freaking joyride? sheesh. and to top it all off... it's the first day of that time of the month. urgh.
never mind. some things should not be broadcast in public. hayy.
after talking with a friend on the phone, i said to my mom, "i am in the middle of a tele-novela. thank God i'm just one of the extraneous characters." she asked, "hindi ba ikaw ang bida?" i said, "no, that's another story altogether."
i swear, real life can sometimes be as complicated as a tele-novela. maybe i should write the story and just change the names around. but no one would probably believe me. it's just as well, i guess.
i went to ATC again with my mom and my cousin. my cousin had come back from a visit to the US some time ago and it was only now that we would have an opportunity to see each other again. we had dinner at CPK, and spent our time trading stories on how everyone was doing and reminiscing about some events of the past. then we went window shopping. or so i thought.
i ended up buying something again, after buying 5 books earlier in the day. nope, not another book. although i was tempted to buy this Creative Writing Coursebook in National, except that it was pretty pricey. we went into Nothing But Water, but the swimsuit i was eyeing before was gone. oh well. and then i saw this sleeveless shirt with the word Angel written on the front with glittery sequins. it was so... kikay. hehe.Ü i just couldn't resist. now all i have to do is figure out where to wear it.
my mom and i stopped by ATC after mass a while ago. there was a discount (20%) on imported books at Powerbooks so i went on a bit of a spree and treated myself to the following books:
it's not the original Sandman novel (graphic novel? comic book? i have no idea, i haven't even seen it yet) but it caught my eye anyway. besides the Gaiman quotes i've been coming across recently, a friend recommended Gaiman to me way back when.
since i left Sparks' other book, A Walk to Remember in Makati, i decided to get this book in the meantime. besides, it was also recommended to me by a friend.
i saw the movie and it was terribly funny. the book ought to be even better. you know the old saying, the book is always better than the movie. well, there are some exceptions. but that was only when the book was based on the movie. so maybe i should say that whatever comes first is always better. am i making much sense here? no matter. i bought the book already, so i'll read it and tell you what i think.
5. random DragonLance book from the clearance bin called Riverwind the Plainsman (Preludes, Volume IV, whatever that means) by Paul B. Thompson and Tonya R. Carter
is it obvious that i have the book in front of me as i type this? i wouldn't have remembered the title, much less the authors' names, if i didn't. i'm into fantasy books (Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind) so i decided to try DragonLance to find out if i like it. besides, it was on sale. Ü
like i said, it was a bit of a spree. how could i resist a sale the day after payday? besides, i have decided that books are a luxury that i should allow myself. a book costs about as much as a dinner in a restaurant. after the dinner, your food is digested and long gone. but you can read a book over and over again. i am such a bookworm. and right now, a happy, contented bookworm.
i decided to try out the marmalade scrub that my sister bought from Body Shop. it looks good enough to eat and smells really delicious too. now all i need is some peanut butter and two slices of bread, and then i'll be good enough to eat! hehe.Ü
marmalade always reminds me of Paddington Bear. i used to have a small stuffed toy of Paddy. wonder where that went off to.
i interrupted my blogging to run out and catch the taho guy and get myself a nice tall glass of taho for breakfast. yum.
the taho guy has been the same one selling taho on our street for as long as i can remember. i remember my cousins and i swarming around him, requesting for more arnibal (spelling?) and sago in our taho. he used to give a free cup to my 2 year-old cousin, who's now a strapping 12 year old in the US and probably doesn't remember what taho tastes like. the taho guy has seen me grow up, go through college, and start working. he's sent his own children through college by selling taho. it saddens me to think that i don't even know his name. but how can i ask him after all these years?
KEATING
"O Captain! My Captain!" Who knows where that comes from? Anybody.
Not a clue? It's from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Now, this class, you can either call me Mr. Keating, or, if you're slightly more daring, "O Captain! My Captain."
Now let me dispel a few rumors, so they don't fester into facts. Yes, I, too, attended Hellton and have survived. And no, at that time, I was not the mental giant you see before you. I was the intellectual equivalent of a ninety-eight-pound weakling. I would go to the beach, and people would kick copies of Byron in my face.
Now, Mr. Pitts. That's rather unfortunate name. Mr. Pitts, where are you?
Mr. Pitts, will you open your hymnal to page 542? Read the first stanza of the poem you find there.
PITTS
"To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time"?
KEATING
Yes. That's the one. Somewhat appropriate, isn't it?
PITTS
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flowers that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.
KEATING
Thank you, Mr. Pitts. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." The Latin term for that sentiment is "Carpe diem". Now
who knows what that means?
MEEKS
Carpe diem. That's "seize the day."
KEATING
Very good, Mr--
MEEKS
Meeks.
KEATING
Meeks. Another unusual name. Seize the day. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." Why does the writer use these lines?
CHARLIE
Because he's in a hurry.
KEATING
No! Ding! Thank you for playing anyway. Because we are food for worms, lads. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is, one day, gonna stop breathing, turn cold, and die. I would like you to step forward over here and peruse some of the faces from the past. You've walked past them many times, but I don't think you've really looked at them.
They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts, full of hormones just like you. Invincible just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you. Their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see, gentlemen, those boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen. Do you hear it?
Carpe. Hear it? Carpe. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary.
and i found this quote which makes me want to buy one of Gaiman's novels ASAP.
I like the stars. It's the illusion of permanence, I think. I mean, they're always flaring up and caving in and going out. But from here I can pretend... I can pretend that things last. I can pretend that lives last longer than moments. Gods come and Gods go. Mortals flicker and flash and fade. Worlds don't last; and stars and galaxies are transient, fleeting things that twinkle like fireflies and vanish into cold and dust.
i woke up at 6 am today. i tried to go back to sleep, but by 6:30 i was really awake. wow. can you believe that? me, awake at 6 am? me, the same sleepyhead that slept through the entire (and i do mean entire) Sunday a few weeks ago. well, i did fall asleep pretty early last night. for a change, i didn't have any gimmick this Saturday. i was pretty exhausted. after a full day of work at Makati, i had to go to the clinic in Parañaque for a meeting. and the traffic was pretty bad.
when i arrived at the clinic, i suddenly realized i had forgotten something in Makati. my friend lent me the book A Walk to Remember. and i left it at the other clinic! =( i was hoping to read it this weekend. silly, forgetful me. i feel like dropping by today just to get the book. well, we'll see.
it's not often i work from 9 to 5... hayy. and to think that i had 2 1/2 hours free, besides my lunch break.
...
...
...
i don't have anything to say right now! i'm posting too often, nauubusan tuloy ako ng kwento. and the only thing that happened to me today is work. well, i can ramble on about the kids i work with. likot pa rin nung isa, impulsive pa. yung isa naman dumating one hour late. since i had another kid scheduled for that time slot, i asked another therapist to substitute. either that or they would have to wait 2 hours before my free slot. buti na rin, kakapagod yung batang yon. nananakit/nananabunot pa. yung isa naman graduate na sa akin. she caught up to her developmental milestones already, and she doesn't need me anymore. Ü i remember when i first saw her, she couldn't even crawl. and now she's walking, albeit clumsily. i'm going to miss that cutie. the mom gave me Hershey's Kisses to thank me. yum yum.Ü i love chocolate. what else? the twins were SOOO likot today. hayy. they were enough of a handful, good thing their other two classmates didn't show. and then my last kid was really good today.Ü unlike last time when he threw a tantrum and vomited on the trampoline. oh well. so that's a typical day at work for me, for those who are curious.
You are most daring, and like the quote says, you grab the bull by the horns! You do what makes you happy, not what anyone tells you to do. Because of this attitude, chances are that you're the creative type, whether it be with a paintbrush, a guitar, a journal, etc. You're also pretty laid-back, so it's casual all the way for you. You'd rather be comfortable than be a slave to fashion. Finally, you're a total romantic. Love is most important to you, so you will do whatever it takes to protect it. You might not go as far as Felicity did (she flew across the country to follow Ben!), but definitely fight for it with all you've got.
and to counteract that sad note, here's an email from a friend.
"I'm afraid to fly and I don't know why. I'm jealous of the people who are not afraid to die."
It has taken me quite a number of years before I was able to write my reflection on this song. I think now is the best time for me to sit down and write what is in my head and in my heart before I can no longer remember? Falling in love is the greatest and most wonderful gift. The sky is bluer and it seems that flowers are blooming everywhere. Indeed, what an exhilarating feeling it is to love and be loved in return. Here's the challenge though? When one loves, one dies. I don't mean the physical death, but death to oneself. You see, when you are in love, you place that person's needs above your own. Loving entails a lot of sacrifices. Personal preferences are thrown out the window in place of something that was mutually agreed on or sometimes one just chose to give up her own preference because love dictates it. I admire the brave ones who can do just that, make the decision to love and allow themselves to be swept by the "magic" and mystery of it all - To trust someone with their life and accept the commitment to be there for each other always, for better or for worse.
"It's just that I recall, back when I was small, someone promised that they'd catch me but then they let me fall."
It's weird what one does all for the sake of love. It's sad to admit that there are also those who just love when it is convenient for them, when things are going smoothly, the way they wanted it, the way they planned it. It's true colors are uncovered when trials sets in. Will they hold on or will they give up?
"And now I'm fallin', fallin' fast again. Why do I always take a fall when I fall in love?"
And then you begin to ask yourself, why did I allow myself to fall in love? To be hurt? Why am I so stupid and stubborn? I should never let it happen again! Only to find yourself falling in love again? But then, who can really resist the call to love?
"You think by now I've learned. Play with fire you get burned. But fire can be, oh, so warm that's why I return."
The call to love is inherent and real. It is part of our humanity, to respond to love that is freely given. In the first place, it was God who first loved us and called us to love in return? Though it was not easy loving foolish and stubborn humans, still, He loved us because it is His nature, because God is love.
We can never turn away from our nature -- that is to love. No matter what our head says, the decision to love lies in the heart.
"It always turns out the same. Loving someone, losing myself, I only got me to blame."
I'm one of the brave ones and I'm proud of it. I loved. For all its magic and mystery, the joys and the sorrows, yes, even the hurts and the pains. It was all worth it. I may have lost a part of me in the process, but I also gain a lot of lessons. I can still laugh at life. I responded to God's call to love. It was a decision patterned after the love of God. I have no regrets! No one is to blame. It is my nature to love.
"And maybe this time I'll have it all. Maybe I'll make it after all. Maybe this time, I won't fall when I fall in love."
Maybe this time it will be forever. Maybe this time "we" can make it... Maybe this time there's no letting go. How will I know if I don't trust again? Dream again and love again.
The song is more than a love song, for me it was a song of hope - of better things to come, of joy after the tears and of rainbows after a
storm.
ROSE: It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "Maybe we should just be friends" or "How very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way to your heart.
DESIRE: How picturesque.
ROSE: It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that.
it was pretty hot and sunny today. so i was surprised this afternoon to see it raining lightly. (i don't think there's an English word for ambon, is there?) since rain + sun = rainbow, i looked up and saw it arcing across the sky. a full rainbow. now it's not often i see that, usually part of it is broken or obstructed from view. but there it was, in all its translucent glory. and then my gaze shifted, and i saw another, fainter rainbow above the first. two breathtaking rainbows. that made my day. Ü
Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
All of us under its spell,
We know that it's probably magic...
Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something that I'm s'posed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
i am still online. i feel like rambling on and on about the bits and pieces of my existence. bear with me. or not.
scorching
i was outside just a while ago. the heat was unbearable. i felt as if i was being roasted alive. my mom and i dropped the car off at the talyer on the corner of our street, then walked back. ang init ng mundo.
tomatoes and milk
i took a bath when i got home. i used my new soap from Fresh called Tomatoes and Milk. yeah i know, sounds like a weird combination, but it smells really good. Ü
comfy
now i'm sitting in front of the PC in my comfy wear: tank top, boxers, hair up in a pachinchang. all in my favorite color.
gratitude
this got me to thinking about appreciating the little things in life. here are 5 things i am thankful for today:
1. no work today!
2. the blue, blue sky seen while walking home
3. the happy chatter of a 2 year-old (anak ng katulong namin)
4. chicken cordon bleu for lunch
5. the wonderful world of the internet Ü
actually, i could go on, but that's enough for now.
morning rush
i'm one of those who listen to Chico and Delamar in the mornings, although i don't really text or call in or anything like that. so i was surprised last month when they said their goodbye's on air. while browsing through PEx, i found out that they will be back soon at RX. that's nice to know. they always cheer me up in the morning. Ü
6510
i think i've decided on getting the 6510 model of Nokia. now, all i have to do is save up and wait for the prices to drop. Ü i thought of getting the 3310 with their new promo, but i changed my mind since it doesn't have IR so i can't use it with my PDA.
i am SOOO addicted to blogging right now. would you believe it was practically the first thing i thought of when i woke up? *shakes head in disbelief* oh well. this too, shall pass.
You were male in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Alaska, approximately in the year 1350.
Your profession was: librarian, priest, keeper of tribal relics.
A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
Seeker of truth and wisdom. You could have seen your future lives. Others perceived you as an idealist illuminating path to future.
A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
You fulfill your lesson by helping old folks and children. You came to that life to learn to care about weak and helpless.
and i thought i wouldn't have anything more to post today. but no, my life is exciting and eventful. hehe.Ü
while i was on my way home from a patient's house, the car stalled again. the same thing that happened last night, happened again. it was a bit worse though, since the engine didn't want to start this time. so i called my mom and let her know where i was. she said she'd call a family friend and they would come pick me up. after a few more tries, the engine finally started. and then the car started functioning normally again. i let my mom know i was ok and i headed home. *sighs in relief*
we're definitely having the car checked out tomorrow.
within the silence
the echo of gunfire still lingers
chaos has reigned supreme
nature's peace shattered by the cruelty of man
in the aftermath she remains
oblivious to the merciless torrents that soak her
and the piercing pain in her limb
a wail fills the air unbidden
her heart breaking with hysterical grief
as she pulls his body close
soaked in the mingling of their love's blood
within the silence
a curious mixture
expectation, dread, and hope
furtive glances exchanged
"what is it?"
white coat clears his throat
"your son will be born
with Downs syndrome
i'm sorry."
mother's face crumples in despair
father squeezed her hand in reassurance
plants a kiss on the growing gift inside
"i'm not.
he is my son."
i'm not much of a poet, but i was inspired by this thread.
somewhere here in the horizon
i sit looking out at
the edge of the sky and the endless ocean
while stars twinkle promises overhead
i sit alone and remember
your words of love and promises
of forever
silent sorrow trickles down my cheek
i look up at the stars and search
for the twinkling pint that holds
our love, our story, our future together
as distant as another galaxy away
or another lifetime
i'm at work right now. the secretary just informed me that my 1pm patient just cancelled. should have stayed home awhile longer. oh well. buti nalang i can go online here.
while we were on our way home, the car suddenly went weird on us and stopped in the middle of the road. it was a good thing we were still near the entrance of the mall. my mom went out and asked the guards for assistance. they pushed us to the side of the road. then, when we were all set to determine what the problem was, the car was working normally again! although i was thankful for that, i was a bit embarassed that they had gone to all that trouble for nothing.i think one of the pedals was stuck or something. oh well. will have it checked out tomorrow.
i wonder what i would have done if i were alone. would it have been a good idea to leave the car in the middle of the road while going for help? on the other hand, just sitting there wouldn't make matters any better. maybe i could call a friend to help me out. my problem is that most of my friends live in Manila or Quezon City. oh well.
it was my mom's birthday yesterday. i went home from work early, no dawdling like i usually do. we went shopping at Festival mall. i bought new clothes (again!) from here. it's the same store i bought stuff from when i was in Greenhills. turns out their branch at Festival had a wider selection. can you believe i got a dress for P99? my mom and sister were wondering where i would wear it. but its nice to have a dress in case you suddenly have to go somewhere you're required to dress up. you never know. Ü i got a cheap pair of pants too! only P190. the button just needs to be sewn on properly, otherwise it was a perfectly good pair of pants. yipee!Ü and the other two blouses i got were 20% off. not really cheap, but then not that bad either.
here i go rambling on and on about what i bought. i sound like a shopaholic. although i do love shopping, i don't do it that often. well, you probably won't believe me if you've been reading my blog lately. i also got a book from Booksale. i don't even know the title, all i know is that it won a Pulitzer Prize. i'm trying to expand my reading selections. it's pretty hard to experiment on unknown authors at the regular bookstores. if you buy a book, and you don't like it after you read it, nakakahinayang naman. my sister and i also bought a fairy tale book, a collection of stories by Grimm and Andersen. my sister is really into children's books. also, the illustrations in the book were enchanting.
we had dinner at Ramen Tai. nabusog ako ng husto! Japanese food can turn out to be quite filling if you eat enough of it.
Someday We'll Know originally by New Radicals
revived by Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman
Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years and later
You're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
Ohhh.....
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the ninety-seventh time tonight
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God one question (one question...question)
Why aren't you here with me tonight?
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
You're excited about life and in touch with yourself and nature. Tell me, do I have this straight?
Virtues: You appreciate humor like none other. Puns might even spark laughter in you (TEHY R FUNNI). You seek adventure and connection with your surroundings. You seek friends who will not only share laughs with you but actually form a deep bond of trust and empathy beneath the surface. You look for adventure and courage in people, and variation is necessary to keep you under control. You see yourself as multi-faceted, so you need people who can see you in your many lights. You're constantly trying to figure yourself out while analyzing the people around you. Silly, silly people.
Aspirations: You can't decide what you want to be yet, but you know you want it to be adventures and interesting, with constant changes. You don't know what love will do for you yet, but it's competing with adventure for a place in your heart. An internal conflict has begun: can you be a successful worker, lover, and parent all at once?
Quirks: Noise of any sort is irritating when you're in the mood. Smacking gum, loud chewing, humming- it's about as pleasing as bodily noises. You dislike emaciated people because of jealousy and just plain disgust. You're a procrastinator but a hard worker, too.
Factors: You need constant attention and support. You're high-maintnence, but a great, reliable friend. Nature needs you and you need nature; it's helped thus far, so keep in touch with the outside world.
Future: Who knows! You absolutely need constant change, so vacationing is surely in the cards. Will you settle down or not? Love will find you eventually, as it does to everyone. Will you choose the sweet home life or the rewarding busy-bee life?
**skips around and chants like a little kid** i got new stuff... i got new stuff...
i have a new pair of pants, two blouses, and a new bag from Greenhills. it was a good thing we didn't spend that much time there, or i would have been tempted to buy even more stuff. Ü
after that we had dinner, then a few games of billiards. i am so out of practice! having said that, at least i can say my game wasn't that bad last night. i'm looking forward to playing more often. hmm. i wonder when i'll have time to fit it into my schedule.
speaking of schedules, there's going to be a CLP by Singles For Christ in our parish. my only problem is that it's on a Saturday. i already started attending the CLP in Las Piñas, except that i had too many absences. i can't help it if i often go out on a Saturday night.Ü but i do want to try attending again this time, since it's much nearer my house this time. oh well. we'll see. maybe i should ask my friends to schedule all gimmicks for Friday or Sunday for the next couple of months.
darn. blogspot seems to be acting up. i can't view my site. oh well. on to other things then. like surfing for my new phone and laptop! Ü sana nga makabili ako soon. my phone is really getting all weird on me. it goes blank while i'm texting a message, and then it says Insert SIM Card when i turn it back on. after a while, it goes back to the usual display. oh, and last night, the phone called my mom by mistake. maybe i forgot to lock the keypad. anyway, she got worried when she answered and i didn't answer her. and then when she called my phone again, the power had gone off so she couldn't contact me. suddenly, my friend's phone rings. it's his mom, who said that my mom called his house. mom probably panicked and searched my stuff for my friend's number. oh well.
hmm... does the above anecdote justify my buying a new phone? probably not. but my phone probably really does deserve to go into retirement after years of faithful service. then again, maybe if i just replace the battery (a friend suggested that it might just be the battery going bonkers), then i can spend my money on other things. like more new clothes. hehe.Ü
i'm supposed to be posting an update on the gimmick i was out on last night... but i stumbled across this site, and i just keep clicking and clicking on more "emotions"... really funny! Ü
i can hear my bed calling me... and i have work tomorrow/later! oh well.
ayan ka kasi ina, addict na ulit sa net. ang tagal kasi ng download ko eh!
yeah, yeah, whatever. blame it on the download. eh talaga naman eh! *pouts*
hay naku nag-drama ka pa. matulog ka na nga. okie. goodnyte. Ü
can't wait to go to Greenhills though. i need new pants! Ü and maybe new blouses would be nice. ooh, i'd better make sure i stay within my budget.
and maybe i can start browsing for a new phone. it's annoying how it goes blank while i'm typing in a message. well, my phone has served its time and deserves to retire soon. tsk tsk. expenses nga naman.
i texted a kabarkada earlier: tara! gimik tayo!Ü he asked about the details, then he said he'd call me later to confirm. i said ok. his reply:
LA LANG INS, U
SEEMED TIPSY OR
SUMTHIN, KC I
CANT RMEMBR D
LAST TIME U
SUGGESTD A GMIK!Ü
ganon?? =Þ
i guess when i do "make yaya" (eeew! so conyo naman!) to go out, i usually do so with other friends. or maybe i just haven't texted him directly before about a gimmick. anyway, we're all set to go out tomorrow. will go shopping (yay!) at Greenhills first after work (girls lang muna) then will meet the guys for dinner and whatever afterward. there will only be four of us tomorrow. aww. originally, there are 9 of us. 3 are now in the US, one in Canada, and the other one in the Philippines is in Pampanga this weekend. oh well.
i received a text message this morning. from an unknown number.
Reaction ng mga
g¿rls pg nwla
wallet nila: RICH
g¿rls: "shit, my
50 thousand!"
COÑO g¿rls:
"damn, credit
cards ko!" ALL
g¿rls: "pucha,
picture ni ***** <--- name of my eX
andun!"
gulat ako. a few possibilities entered my mind. it could be him, forwarding a casual message for whatever reason. but that kind of message just isn't his style. it could be any friend of mine who wanted to send me a message to remind me of him for whatever reason. it could be his current GF (if he has one, i have no idea) or one of his eXes texting me for whatever reason.
note the repetition here. for whatever reason?!
i replied with a curt: cno kaw?
the reply:
Pinakagwapong
hayop sa balat
ng lupa..M0st
wnderful man,a
woman hs set
her eyes n..Bt m
nt ur x-boyfrnd!
M beter!! M ur
frndly neighbor
frm YFC.. ***** <--- same first name as my eX
*****!ÜÜÜ <---- different last name
whew. it was from an old friend of mine. that clears up the mystery. although part of me wishes it was him... *sigh*
grabe i'm still up... surfing and posting and blogging. and unbelievably, ang bagal ng connection even at this late hour! this is what you get when i know i don't have work tomorrow/today. and partly, i guess i am avoiding something. you know that feeling of missing someone that you get while lying in bed waiting for sleep to catch up to you? i guess i'm thinking that maybe if i'm exhausted enough before i hit the sack, i can escape that feeling...
somehow i just got the idea of putting titles on my posts... makes it more eye-catching and you can decide whether you want to read a particular post or not. will just be putting titles on all my june posts onwards. too much work if i have to go way back to when i started.
anybody have an automatic way of putting them in? i have to type them up the manual way.
speaking of memories, i got an idea from a book i read to write short anecdotes from my childhood. the guy i read about planned to write 100, i'd probably be satisfied with half that number. or even less. bahala na. i will probably be posting them online. watch this space for announcements...
Seven Shots on Wednesday is back... although a day late for me. hmm.. should i go ahead and answer? the topic is happiness.
1. Are you happy? right now, reasonably ok. i've been happier. but i'm happy. Ü
2. What is your happiest memory? i have a lot of happy memories from childhood. as for recent memories... well, now some of those memories are bittersweet. *sigh*
3. What are the little things in life that make your day? the laughter of the kids i work with... text messages from good friends...
4. What would make you the happiest person on earth? living my life with my soulmate... whoever he is.. Ü
5. Who is the happiest person you know in real life? online? hmm... i actually can't think of anybody. how sad.
6. Who makes you unhappy? nobody makes me unhappy... i can choose how to react to the actions of other people. i'm not saying that i don't ever feel unhappy, all i'm saying is nobody makes me unhappy.
7. What would destroy your happiness? nothing.. because it will always come back...
snooping around other blogs has finally landed me the funny bone jackpot. (did i make any sense? oh well. doesn't matter.) it's from a forwarded email daw.
Last week, I left Manila with a couple of friends heading toward Punta Fuego, in Batangas, when I decided to stop at a comfort station in a relatively new Gas station in Tagaytay. Being a new gas station, this place would have a clean bathroom and just right clean facility to take a good crap. The first stall was occupied (my theory was correct) so I went into the second one.
Just when I was seated and poised to emit a very "silent" fart, I heard a voice from the next toilet:
"Hi, how are you doing?"
Damn!!! I thought in my mind. I am certainly not the type to chat with strangers in highway comfort rooms or any comfort room for that matter. Normally, I would keep as dead silent as possible in a situation like this so no one would think I was there. What was I to do? run? keep quiet? so many questions in my mind. I really don't know quite what possessed me, but anyway, I answered, a little embarrassed:
"OK LANG, pare!"
And the stranger said: "Whats up with you?"
Talk about your unnervingly dumb questions! WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY? (In my mind) I was really beginning to think this was just TOO WEIRD! So I said:
"WELL, JUST LIKE YOU I'M MAKING TAE.*" *poopoo*
Then, I heard the person, all upset, say, "Look, I'll call you back, there's some idiot in the next toilet answering all the questions I am asking you."
i've been telling my friends that i want a laptop. the reason? so that i can surf the net while lying down on my bed.
**ducks from the tomatoes you're throwing at me**
hehe.Ü everyone i tell that to reacts in some way. but i really do want a laptop. and that's just one of the reasons i want one.
also, i think i need a new cellphone. NOOOO!!! i don't want to have to change my beloved 5110. i've dropped it God-knows-how-many times, it rattles around in my bag with some other stuff, when i put it in my pocket i pull it out using the antenna, and whatever other kinds of mistreatment you can think of. and now *sniff* my rough handling has finally taken its toll. my phone keeps going blank lately. for no apparent reason. loose battery maybe? hindi naman. oh yeah. i did forget to charge it. oh well. just a few hours plugged in and then its usable again. in the meantime, i better start window shopping for a new model. any suggestions?
hey guess what! i can now put my hair up with a ... uh... watchamacallit. you know, those things that used to be so popular, the claw like thing you put in your hair. pachinchang! there yah go. that's what my sister and i used to call it. another friend used to call it chuk chak. don't ask me where we got those names.
anyway, the point is, my hair is growing longer! hmm, when was the last time i had long hair? i think it was about 2 years ago. the last time i had *really* long hair was in 1998 pa yata. oh well. i've finally decided to let my hair grow longer this time. my mom was happy to hear that. now i won't be bugging her with my favorite question: should i get my hair cut or let it grow longer?
well, i *have* decided on letting it grow... for now... Ü
the blog addict is back again today. Ü i've been snooping around in other people's blogs and i added a few more links to my list.
hmm... i had something to say awhile ago... right now it just slipped my mind. maybe later. kulitin ko muna yung mga tao sa channel.
after sleeping the whole day Sunday, suddenly i don't feel like sleeping yet right now. hmm. must be because i know i don't have any work tomorrow/today. Ü
) the rest of the night was spent listening to the bands that played and bantering with friends. it was well worth the drive. Ü
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a gigantic flying perv! Yes, it's the inner child Kid Ass Avenger (PSFC). Your inner child runs amuck in the inner streets of your inner Mardis Gras. He, in fact, is the queen of the parade, and by the end of the night, or any night of your life, is always smothered in the finest beads.
