hey you! yes, i am talking to you! how'd you find my online journal?
well, lucky you. you are now privy to my innermost thoughts and
feelings. well, most of them anyway.
and if by chance you know me, or know any of the people in my life, i ask you not to judge them based on what you see here. this is, after all, just my side of things.
After 3 years, I come back to post. Actually, all I want to say that my blog has come a long way from its humble blogger beginnings. I now have my own domain name! Imagine that.
**edit**
i've actually moved twice since I posted this, I went from Blogspot to Cdnhost.net to Deeplist.com, and now I'm staying at Neopages.net. so just in case you happened to come to this old page, just click the URL to find where I moved my blog to.
did i spell that one right? anyway, the advantages of an official holiday is no traffic in the streets as you speed off to work. yes, i had work this morning. the kids that cancelled last Saturday due to the rains were re-scheduled for today. at least i got my paycheck, although it is substantially lower than usual.
heavy rains = flooding/sick kids = cancelled therapy = no earnings for therapist
for once, i couldn't care less about the elections today. i was all worked up about the last elections and i felt that whoever was apathetic enough not to vote deserved whatever clowns were elected into office. now i'm on the other side of the fence.
maybe my current apathy is because these are only local elections at the barangay level. spposedly, you should be able to see more concrete changes since the candidiates walk the same streets and experience the same problems (floods, garbage, etc.) that you do. also the candidates are not necessarily traditional politicians who have spent their entire career in the political arena, but civic leaders who take an active interest in community affairs. who am i kidding? it's the same list of names every year. and although the names ring a bell, i have no idea if they actually accomplished anything during previous terms of office.
but how will we recognize those achievements? hopefully it doesn't have to be painted on to a brand new waiting shed at every corner: Project of So and So. or worse, just their name emblazoned on the wall, as if it were their personal funds and not the taxpayers who paid for the construction.
so it's a Catch 22 then. damned if you do, damned if you don't. what should the voting public do?
i seem to be immobilized by my perfectionism. i cannot bring myself to start a simple task because i want to execute it perfectly. and the thought of the task is daunting in itself. moreso when i think of how many similar tasks i have yet to accomplish.
i am talking about paperwork. although an essential part of my work, it is the part i dislike the most. what i love most about my work is the interaction. a child, eager to start the session, runs up to me with a hug. a parent discusses her concerns about her child, and mentions that her son is improving in school. setting up a conference with a child's teachers to discuss what ADHD is and how they can help the child. seeing a child finally remember how to spell his name. witnessing a child go from unable to crawl to toddling all over the place. a mom bringing you some food to thank you for helping her daughter. those are the perks in my line of work.
the reason why paperwork is so daunting is that i have to document exactly the baseline condition, improvements made, and goals for therapy. it is often hard to explain what we do and why we do it, for to the casual onlooker a therapy session looks like mere child's play. that's what makes paperwork a necessary evil, one that i have to gather up my wits and my courage to conquer.
my mom was raving yesterday about the tiramisu she had eaten at CPK. i can imagine her pausing with her fork halfway to her mouth and exclaiming, "ang sarap talaga nito!" except she and her friend stopped raving when they saw the bill. for two slices of tiramisu, a cup of coffee, and a cup of tea, the grand total came to a whopping 700 pesos.
even when my mom told us the story, and complained about the exorbitant bill, she would interrupt herself and say, "pero ang sarap talaga non." it had better be good, if you're paying that much for it!
my sister and i were contemplating (yeah, just not thinking, but *contemplating* ) about having crepes delivered to the house from Frio Mixx. but after the cake story, we opted to go to the bakeshop on our street corner instead. make a wild guess what cake we bought. Ü
it was pretty good, but my mom still maintained that CPK's tiramisu was better. although we did pay less for the entire cake than my mom did for the two slices.
i spent the other part of the morning reading a book i found lying baout the house. Yoga, Youth and Reincarnation by Jess Stearn. Yoga seems interesting, and the physical and emotional benefits look appealing. i wonder if there are any places to learn yoga around the area.
have been depriving myself of sleep lately. my evenings up to the dawn hours are spent in front of the PC. i know, it's not obvious when you look at the content of my blog recently. i've been looking for a free server and am trying to figure out MT. i know i already mentioned this before, so i won't dwell on it.
i also didn't even take a nap yesterday. can you believe that? me, the former eternal sleepyhead. i think i was in front of the PC yesterday for more than 12 hours, stopping only for meals. granted, not all that time was spent online. my cousin came over in the afternoon and i helped her make something in Pagemaker. was also trying to complete the design for my site. the rest of the time was spent poking around online.
lately i find myself smiling more at the thoughts of certain foods. my appetite tends to go in cycles:
eat-as-much-as-you-want-whenever-you-want -->
eat-in-moderation -->
eat-only-because-you-have-to -->
skip-meals-and-eat-only-if-absolutely-necessary -->
eat-only-because-you-have-to -->
eat-in-moderation -->
eat-as-much-as-you-want-whenever-you-want --> and so on...
pretty crude diagram, but you get the picture. i'm at the eat-as-much-as-you-want-whenever-you-want phase right now. recently i've been enjoying those prepackaged breaded food from Monterey, specifically the Chicken Cordon Bleu and the Pork Nuggets with Barbecue sauce. the Cordon Bleu really cheered me up the other day when i finally arrived home after driving in heavy traffic. and we had pizza from Yellow Cab for merienda today.
early this morning, i spent more than half an hour pressing the snooze button on my cell and listening for the text message that would tell me that my patients were cancelled for today.
no text message arrived. i finally got up, showered and dressed for work. i was ready to leave and as i was about to step out of the house to get to the car, i stared disconsolately at the continuing heavy downpour. i went back in the house and called up the clinic. i was informed that they were cancelling all the patients for today and i was the last therapist to be informed.
yipee! i skipped around the house, feeling like a kid who has been granted an extra day of freedom.
the obsessive-compulsive part of me wants to get MovableType. i *love* the idea of being able to classify my posts according to category, and make so many more customizations otherwise. my only problem is i'm not a techie, and MT is a bit complicated to set-up. hopefully things will go well, then i'll transfer all my stuff to a new site. don't worry, i'll let you know once i do so. now that i know that there are people out there listening, i wouldn't want to disappoint you guys.
i also plan to make a whole new site when i do that, and will be adding stuff from my past as well. i'm doing that to satisfy myself, but you're welcome to stalk me if you want to.
i guess that's why i don't have much to post right now. also, besides blogging, i have 3 forums that i post regularly in, and it takes a while just to catch up. and then i have my list of blogs to read. speaking of which, i still have so many more links to add since i am continually discovering new blogs and interesting reads. so there. excuse me if i don't have anything substantial to post right now.
(don't mind me, i'm just ranting out loud. you just happen to be close enough to overhear me talking to myself.)
You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standing in the dark
Alone waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't want to be
Stranded
Stranded
Stranded
So baby come back to me [Stranded]
So baby come back to me [Stranded]
I can only take so much
These tears are turning me to rust
I know you're waiting there for me to come back
I'm too afraid to show
If it's coming over you
Like it's coming over me
I'm crashing like a tidal wave
That drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't wanna be
(Stranded)It's coming over you
(Stranded)It's coming over me
(Stranded)It's coming over you
I miss you
I need you
Without you
I'm stranded
I love you
So come back
I'm not afraid to show
Crashing like a tidal wave
Drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
You wanna be with me
Crashing like a tidal wave
I don't wanna be
Stranded
It's coming over you [Stranded]
It's coming over me [Stranded]
It's coming over you [Stranded]
So baby come back to me [Stranded]
So baby come back to me [Stranded]
Coming over you
Coming over you
Coming over me
Coming over you
i heard the most outrageous thing on the radio on my way home. a new alternative to palm reading is... butt reading. yup, you heard me right. apparently this blind psychic in Germany can ascertain your personality and predict your future by feeling the lines on your bare behind. some celebrities reported him as credible, and he had supposedly made accurate predictions for them. it was also said that you could tell some personality characteristics from the shape of the butt, like if it was apple or pear shaped.
uh, right. how can a butt be shaped like an apple? too weird. i wonder how many people actually fell for this and allowed some stranger (he may be blind, but that doesn't make it okay for him to cop a feel) to touch their butts to find out about their future. how do people come up with these things??
picture this. having stayed up late last night reading a good book, you are thankful for a lazy morning in bed without any commitments to fulfull. while the rain pounds against the roof, you lie in bed, still half asleep, snug and warm under the covers. a piercing ringing interrupts the sleepy silence. you attempt to ignore it, but the phone continues ringing. you reluctantly slink out of bed and pick up the phone. "hello?" you ask in a groggy voice. a perky voice chirps back at you, "good morning. fax tone please." urgh.
